I can't go to gym, I don't have the time..........

What is the most common excuse you have heard regarding not being able to go to the gym or take up morning runs? Funny enough I hardly ever hear people complain about the cost of signing up for gym membership. It is always only about “I do not have the time”. Most people I know always say 

I can't do mornings

My schedule is too tight,

I am too busy,

I have too many things to do after work

I am a wife, I have to cook

I am a mother, I have to help with homework

Etc etc etc

While I do not dispute all these valid reasons, the truth is, people who go to gym all do actually have tight schedules, but they sacrifice a bit of time for gym. I also do not dispute that in some exceptional cases, some people do have very tight schedules perhaps in relation to work. As for the rest I believe where there is a will, a way surely can be found. Gym takes sacrifice, you need to sacrifice an hour within your day to be able to attend to your body. If you can find time to go for tea with the girls after work, surely you can find time to go to the gym, if you can find time to pass by the grocery store after the gym, surely you can find time to go to the gym, if you can find time to rush home and sit in front of the tv and stare at your tv, surely you can find time to go to the gym, of course this can only happen “if you want to attend gym”…………….. 

Personally, if I do not want to go to gym, I can come up with a thousand believable excuses, and yes I can be very busy when I want to, half the time when I am not at the gym, I’m probably at home sitting in front of my tv, eating ice cream. Yes I have chores too, cooking, running after my toddler, But 30 minutes in the gym, surely cannot hinder me from being able to do all that. It is almost like running, you can never put a runner down, if a runner wants to run, a runner will run. A runner will delay departure time of a trip just so he/she can squeeze a morning run before the trip is undertaken. A runner would rather postpone weekend travel to Saturday instead of Friday evening, just so he/she can fit in a long run before travel takes place. Runners have a bit of “crazy”or “cuckooness” in them, you can hardly ever put a runner down, the truth is “where there is a will, there is a way”.  Sacrifice is the name of the game. Surprisingly  some of us who've done this for a while also do come up with excuses every now and then, the most recent one i can think of is normally in relation to the rain, whereby when you wake up and hear tiny drops of drizzle, you quickly tell yourself you're not going for a run because it is raining, when deep down you know that it is hardly raining outside, but since it works in your favour to tell your conscience that you cannot run, you come up with that very convenient excuse. 

When I started gym, some 10 years ago, I used to go twice a day, mornings and evenings, I had no responsibilities then, well I did have curfew at home, so after work I would rush to gym, squeeze in some 40 minutes of training then speed home to cook for my parents in time for my curfew. Now I am a mother and a wife, and I run too, back then I didn’t run, the running has sort of made me lazy in the sense that, I feel there is no need to go to gym because I run, which I believe is a wrong mentality. I almost always have to really force myself to go to the gym nowadays, I suppose I too have that common syndrome of having the “I do not have time” excuse. I prepare my gym bag every day when I go to work, with the intention that after work the trip to the gym shall happen. It does not always happen, however I do try to attend, believe me its not easy, it was easier 10 years ago, the only motivating thing right now is that I’m wiser and hence I know the benefits of gym. 

Unfortunately in our adult life, gym/training is necessary for our wellbeing mentally, physically, emotionally. There is a therapeutic/healing effect that gym/ training provides that is simply priceless. Work can be exhausting, family life can be demanding, life in general can put pressure on you as a person, gym helps you distress from all pressures, known and unknown, gym is not for weight loss only, gym takes effort, gym is for your health, your fitness your wellness, your emotional wellbeing, it is a necessity. If you do not take care of your body, no one else will. 

“You only get one body; it is the temple of your soul. Even God is willing to dwell there. If you truly treat your body like a temple, it will serve you well for decades. If you abuse it you must be prepared for poor health and a lack of energy.”  ― Oli Hille, Creating the Perfect Lifestyle

And it suddenly hit me...........

This morning as I was taking care of my breakfast needs I realized something which one can easily take for granted. On my way to work i stopped by some street vendors to buy me some avocados, I bought 3 to be exact, i thought they cost more than they actually did, only to find they were much much less, anyway, there was to be about 6 bucks change then I decided let me buy peanuts which were sitting there looking very miserable, they cost 2 bucks each, so I took 3 packets. You should have seen the expression on the woman's face when I bought all that stuff, yes 20 bucks worth of stuff, its like she had hit a jackpot.

It suddenly hit me, while I am worrying about what I think are big problems, she is just wanting to sell her merchandise so she can put food on her table and probably her kids and grandkids etc. She even gave me a sweet as a bonus for me, yes she happily gave me a sweet, a sweet which I cldn't care less for, I threw it somewhere in my car where I am sure my son will find and will probably be very excited for.

Let us try and be thankful for what we have, someone out there wants that job you have, or the life you have, or simply the most basic things in life. I am blessed, truly blessed, I thank God.

End of year bonus- Should you????

Its that time of year again, while the stores are running specials and sales, others have already received their "13th cheques" or "bonus" whichever word you use for it. Then I find myself wondering once again, how much should I give my helper as a bonus, Can i afford to give my helper a bonus? Are you planning to give your helper a bonus? Is your helper's bonus dependent on whether or not you receive a bonus from your work place? Should her bonus (if there is one) be dependent on you receiving yours from your employer. If you do give your helper a bonus, is it a full 13th cheque or just a percentage? Is it realistic to give your helper a bonus, does she deserve it, is the bonus performance based? Should your helper not be rewarded for great work just because you have not received a bonus from your work place. 

Do you know that E200.00 which could be meaningless to you would mean a whole lot to your helper, chances are that E200.00 is on average 25% of your helper's salary, so while you are beating your employer up for not giving you at least 25% bonus or a full 13th cheque, your helper's day could be made by a mere E200 from you. Does it really make sense to not give your helper at least 25% bonus as Christmas bonus, of course you could give her more, I'm just making an example with the 25%. Lets put things into perspective, your helper, regardless of her performance, is the one you leave your home, belongings and children with. She is the one in charge of everything in your home during the 8 hours you are in your place of work, and any extra hours you decide to be away from home thereafter. 

Others say they prefer giving bonus in January when its school fees time, to avoid helpers not returning for duty after Xmas break, I suppose that is fair. I for one am a victim of that, 2 years ago I gave my helper a bonus, it was my first time giving a bonus, well I guess she was my first full time helper i ever had, I gave her 2 weeks break and a bonus after only having worked for me some 4 months, yap she never returned for duty. She never mentioned that she won't come back, I realised on the day she was supposed to return for duty, which was day before i was supposed to return for duty, that she is not coming back. Should i have then held this against my next helper?? Would it be fair to do that???? #FoodForThought

I always find it awkward when a person says I won't give my helper a bonus because my employer is not giving me a bonus, I do not see how the 2 are related. While I understand issues of affordability and value for money, I always try not to lose focus of the fact that, my helper, though never perfect, is the custodian of my child at this very moment as I write this. Now that ought to be worth something. While I would like to afford more things in December which my employer may or may not reward me for, I want to believe that by making Christmas merrier for my helper, by that act of giving her at the very least E200 over and above her salary, I might just trigger some shower of blessings on myself now or in future. That by getting her that clothing gift voucher from jet, I wd've made a great xmas for not only her, but for her kids too who she probably will be spending all or most of her money on. Think about it, lets not make it be only about us, sometimes you don't need to give much to make a difference, E200 for my helper I believe is 2 return trips to her home, yes all that is just bus fare. Let us try not make it too much about us, but more on the spirit of giving side, heck you can make it E100 if you think E200 is too much, if I have my way, I will give her more, I am planning to give her more, I'm not sure where I will get that money from, but if I have to forgo my gym subscription for the month of December just so I make her Christmas merrier, that is what I will do. 

Motherhood

So I'm a first time mummy, meaning before September 2013, I was basically clueless about anything & everything that had to do with babies, not that I'm an expert now, but I suppose the quote "experience is the best teacher" would be relevant. Thank God for the internet & useful friends who tirelessly offer information, although some of it useless at times. But when u r inexperienced, u can't pick what information is given to u, u listen to everything, appear appreciative, & do that which u can. Let's face it, u can't apply all the information that is shared with u, if u're a mature adult, u will pick that which suits u and is within your economic means.

One precious thing I learnt through becoming a mother was the value & quality of friendships I have. I've said before that the is "growth" in realizing the types of friends you have around you and the value they add in ur life. As you grow, some friendships go stale and lose relevance, its not a train smash, u move on. As u move, u acquire new friendships that r relevant to ur current situation in life. Life goes on really.

One very valuable piece of advice I received from one very valuable friend was that, at some point, it will all feel overwhelming, after the fatigue kicks in from the sleepless nights, suddenly u can't take a bath when u want to take a bath, u can't eat when u want to eat coz baby is crying all the time, u'll be moody and probably not even easy to talk to. This friend said to me, it is ok to ask for help, it is ok to request time out, sometimes u will just need to get fresh air then u'll be fine after that. Don't be afraid to say u're overwhelmed and u need help. To this day I ask myself how do mothers without full time nannies cope??? I am not a super woman, I don't even want to claim to be one, but I have witnessed the value of having a full time nanny in my home. My sanity was restored, to date & much as she earns for the work she does, I don't think u can put a price on the sanity those people restore to us their bosses.

Patience is the one thing motherhood hasn't taught me, ya I'm still same old impatient Kwesi. I used to hear the myth that motherhood will teach me patience, well it hasn't happened yet, so that is a lie, so far. Then there was the myth that once I have a baby I will not be able to continue with sports, that too is a lie, I think it is a matter of having support from the people around u & u putting ur mind on it. If you don't want it, it won't happen, I made it happen & it happened. I suppose the negativity contributed to my determination to make it happen. Then I was also told that once you become a mother, you will lose the body you have because you'll get fat, yes I got fat, but now I'm back to the size I was before I had the baby. So again, they lied.

The one precious thing I learnt was that, no matter how inexperienced you are about babies, once you have your own, you will have the interest in knowing about your baby. You will learn how to change those diapers, how to feed him, burp him etc

Mummy Diaries

Motherhood is the one journey that has kept me consistently fulfilled, curious and enlightened. Everyday I am learning, everyday I discover new things, everyday I discover that God is simply amazing. Discovering how much this child basically copies everything u do. From taking the deodorant container and rubbing it against his armpit when he is fully clothed, to taking a cellphone or sometimes a remote and putting it against his ear and talking, from taking the gate/car remote and pressing it while standing at the door while observing exactly what happens when u press a button, to pressing the TV/Decoder remote while looking at the TV and wondering what will happen when he presses, from running to the microwave as soon as it makes that sound that signals that it has finished reheating, so he can press the open button, to putting the car key on ignition as soon as he gets hold of it, to wanting to use cutlery when he attempts to eat meat. Yesterday I received a call on my landline, I hardly use my landline by the way, anyway, I was on the call for hardly 2 minutes, then I put down the phone and went to the bedroom, when I returned, my son had gotten hold of the receiver of the landline, and was pretending to be on a call while calmly chilling on the couch, I found this quite hilarious.

Motherhood, an exciting journey this, a journey I am yet to learn plenty from, a journey I am grateful to God for having blessed me with. Hi, my name is Nyakwesi Keregero Motsa, I am a mother of a 24months old, yes, we are almost 2 years old, just some 2 weeks left. 

The spirit of Giving vs running

Its been a while since I last wrote a piece... Well here goes....

So I'm back on the road, but no its more for fun rather than building up for a race... Its more for maintaining, more for conversation, more for enjoying God's wide creation called nature, its more for setting the tone for the day. There are many things I've experienced through running, but one thing that has come to my attention is the spirit of "giving" shared among our runners. 

So a few days ago I was with a group of ladies that I've chosen to run with for now. A wonderful group of ladies, the type of people you would think are just there to fill up the numbers, the type you would easily want to ignore, the type you might want to write off and think are just there to play around, the type that are keeping healthy through running, the type who you only appreciate by spending time close to them and realizing what they are made of. These ladies have great personalities and even bigger hearts. 

So while I was going about my business of pretending to run, I overheard them talking about someone they needed to assist, and while they went on and on about how they should go about offering this assistance, an idea to offer the "someone" some running gear, or even casual wear if  the "someone" didn't mind, came up, while they deliberated on that, while running of course, then an idea to buy that "someone" new sneakers came about, and while I was still trying to continue minding my own business, someone volunteered to go to the shops to check out the price of new sneakers at a sale that was currently going on. 

All in all I was caught up in some ball of thoughts that contained amazement at how this group of ladies had literally just grabbed the bull by its horns and taken it upon themselves to just want to assist a fellow human being. A human being they probably hardly even know, the only thing they needed to know was that this human being was probably "in need"..... I found myself committing to this very worthy cause while still in amazement at how within an hour of running, a greeting towards a fellow "human being" turned into a great idea and soon to be turned into a great gesture of trying to help another "human being". True enough to their word, a few days later, feedback was given to those who were present on the day on how much the sneakers would cost, and how many people are contributing to the cause. Someone volunteered to go and buy, and whatever happens next, I trust they will complete the transaction. The point I am still stuck on is that, this hobby we call running, isn't all about chasing air. We share the road with human beings who will call you if 2 days pass without having seen you on the road, the type of people who will call to check whether you are ok because they notice your absence on the road. The type of people who feel your pain when you happen to share yourself with them. 

I suppose this is the kind of spirit people will share when they're led by such a giving leader... Let me end this here before I start going on and on about this very inspirational leader... That is a blog post for another day..... 

They say Blessed be the hand that giveth...... You may not have great use for the 50 rands in your pocket, but one thing u must know is that, that 50 rands could made a huge difference to someone else's life if you just choose to contribute to that worthy cause. May God bless those ladies, sometimes we learn lessons from others without them even realizing how much their actions humble us. Sometimes we go about our business of running, forgetting that the next person isn't as affording as we are. We are NOT rich, but the next person would love just that pair of tights so they can run, while we want to add on that 5th pair. #TheGoldenFootClub #Running #Giving

I am blessed to share my mornings with such great beings. 

My mother, my queen, another birthday, a reminder that I am blessed

My mother, my queen, moons and moons ago in a faaaaaaaaar away land somewhere in a village called Tuaran, Sabah, Malaysia, on this day a beautiful soul was born. My mother, my queen, my stronghold, my reminder that indeed, i am blessed. Yet again i'm sure some of you will be for the first time learning that my mother, is Malaysian, that is the nature of social networks these days, you think you know someone and then you find out that you actually do not know them. Anyway, moving along, my mother today turns a year older, i miss her, i wish i was where she is right now, in Lesotho, or if she were here where i am, so we could just celebrate and thank God for another year, another blessing and pray to God for more years. By God's grace she is still here today, a strong woman she is, a woman who left her far far far away land and fell in love with none other but my father, who is Tanzanian by the way for the benefit of those who find themselves not knowing my history. 

A mother of 3 beautiful girls, and a grandmother of 2 and soon to be 3 and hopefully by God's grace more. I think right now the most befitting gift for her is the grandchild which by God's grace should arrive in not more than 5 days from today. I know she cannot wait for that and i am very happy on her behalf. A beautiful woman she is, a strong woman she is, a very quiet woman she is. Sometimes i wonder if she is really my mother, coz this apple surely fell too far away from that tree, well except for the beauty of course. My mother is a woman of very few words, a very principled woman, a woman who laid the foundation for what and who i am today. As i go through life i am constantly reminded of the teachings i got from her, sadly one only gets reminded of these as they experience other people going about their lives. 

Besides being a mother and grandmother she is a wife of a very stubborn but loving African man, my father, we will get into that another day. Yes they met during their PHD years in Wisconsin some mooooons ago. A teacher by profession, referred to as Prof M.M.Keregero by her students. To me she simply MAMA. I am thankful to God for the blessing of her in my life, for the teachings she continues to impart on me, for the example she continues to be in my life, for the strong woman that she is. If she was here, rest assured we would have headed to that Chinese restaurant this evening, and had that cake, and blew out those candles and wined and dined and smiled and shared moments of laughter and lots and lots of pictures. But she is not here, she is far away, she is alone, my dad is out of the country too. But i am comforted by God's grace, the knowledge that wherever she is, she is healthy, she is happy and although i miss her, i am blessed to have her and comforted by knowing that when i do get to see her, we surely will celebrate another milestone in her life. Love you mama. This was supposed to be longer but because emotions are threatening to get the better of me, i'll end here. Happy birthday mama, i love you. May God continue to bless us with your presence.