Being Pregnant 2013- Anything but amazing

Many people say different things about this experience. Some say it is a wonderful feeling, it is amazing, bla bla bla bla. I think it is anything but amazing. There is nothing amazing about not knowing what you want to eat yet you know very well that you are very hungry, there is nothing amazing about when you finally figure out what you want to eat, hardly a minute thereafter you either feel like throwing up, or worse, you throw up, there is nothing amazing about being tired all the time, especially if you generally were an active person. There is nothing amazing about getting constant headaches or back aches or feet aches when you are hardly ever sick when not pregnant. There is nothing amazing about getting constant comments from fellow women about how ugly you look with your swollen nose, or fat face or fat self in general. Sometimes i wonder why women are so cruel, is there a point in telling me i am fat when there is nothing i can actually do about it. I swear, some people derive pleasure out of just saying this out without thinking of how hurtful this actually is. There is nothing amazing about not feeling like you want to leave your house, there is nothing amazing like calculating your movements just in case the nausea hits while you are away or the hunger hits when you are not in the comfort of your home, your worse still, the hunger hits when you are no where close to shops. There is nothing amazing about having to plan your meals ahead of time so that the hunger doesn't find you foodless. One time in my first trimester i had to attend my sister's graduation, ya i couldn't last the 2 hours, luckily my mom had a packet of marie biscuits nearby, and i munched away. Another time in my last trimester i had to attend a wedding, oh yes i went there prepared, had my lunch box in my car, after about an hour of festivities, i just walked to my car, got comfortable and ate away. This is sooo not how a normal human being is supposed to behave. Suddenly your own body controls you!!! Suddenly i could not walk at my normal speed, or could not walk from one point of the mall to the other without feeling soooo soo tired.

When i was pregnant i envied those women who you hear about who say they found out they were pregnant when they were 5 months or even 8 months. I'm not sure how this is possible, but all i know is that, if u are to find out about your pregnancy at 5 months or even 8 months, basically it means u're not experiencing any major body changes, like nausea. The nausea just killed me, half the time u go around with a frown on ur face, bcoz even ur saliva feels yukkkkkkkk, and because you are feeling this way, u don't want to be out there mingling, you prefer being in your own space where you can whine to yourself and throw up if you have to. Funny enough though, contrary to what some other women go through, i actually loved taking photos while pregnant, not because i loved the way i looked, but i suppose for me taking photos is about freezing memories really, the photos do not necessarily have to be shared with anyone, just for myself.

I did not have the luxury of finding out about my pregnancy after the 1st trimester. In fact i found out in the beginning of the 2nd month. My body just changed, i'm a runner, i run on average 10kms everyday, but suddenly one day 10kms felt like a marathon, i told a friend about this, n she said maybe my body is tired i should rest. The next day i was back at running, felt serious fatigue again, and in my head i thought, i must be pregnant. On top of that, suddenly by 9a.m i would be so hungry, something which was not a normal thing with me. I have my tea in the morning after my run, and only eat at lunch time, but suddenly i needed food immediately i got to work. 4 days later on the 2nd of March 2013 i ran a marathon, it was during this race that i was convinced that indeed what i suspected could be true, that remains the slowest marathon to date i've ever run. I just took my time and took it very slow, managed to complete that marathon, which would be my last run until after delivery. The next day i was in the doctor's waiting rooms to get tested, and indeed............

After i found out, i didn't return to running, doctor said i could still run, said i don't have to push myself too much, i should tone it down but i can continue running, but ya not with that nausea. For the first time in my life,i couldn't eat meat, i couldn't drink fizzy drinks, i couldn't eat sweet things, this was the most torturing experience ever. I couldn't even eat rice, there were days i would only eat pap & avocado or chakalaka. Sometimes i would laugh at myself & say, God has a great sense of humour..... & then you have the experience of people touching your stomach, i would think maybe only the close people would do that, but nooooo, even the not so close people do that, it feels so weird, ohhh no, actually the most weird thing was when a total stranger asked me whether its a girl or a boy, like hello, dude i don't know you.... 

I repeat,  there's nothing amazing about this experience.  However,  it is unfortunately a necessary experience in life,  that said,  ill probably go through it again. Lord have mercy.