My Son, a reminder that God is at work

You see when i look at him now, i get confused, i get mixed feelings, i am overwhelmed with gratitude, at the great wonders of God, at how He can just turn a situation around. One day while going about my business, oblivious to how that day would end, I was 7 months pregnant, woke up, went about my business, didn't feel too well, drove myself to the clinic in Mbabane, some 35kms away, drove back to home in Manzini after being cleared by a nurse since i didn't find my doctor that day, by the time i got home i felt terribly unwell, requested to be driven to another clinic in Manzini, a clinic i had never even been to before. Got there, in hardly 10 minutes i was rushed into the delivery room because lo & behold, i was in labour. When the Doctor told me "the baby is coming", i thought to myself, how??? Just yesterday i was telling people that i'll deliver in 2 months, and now i'm in the delivery room, how???? I couldn't even fathom the condition of the baby at that point, neither could the doctor because he had never attended to me before so everything he was hearing about my situation was for the first time, all he could do was deliver the baby and hope for the best, hope that what i'm saying that i'm 33 weeks pregnant, is actually accurate, but the main point was, they couldn't stop the baby from coming. At this point i had bought nothing for the baby, literally nothing, because hey, i was due in 2 MONTHS..... The baby was born, at 2kgs, the tiniest baby i had ever encountered and yes he was my baby, i couldn't run away from him. To this day i cannot forget how tiny he was, at that point your hope is basically placed on your faith and the doctor's hands. After delivery it took me some goood many hours to even tell my friends that i was in hospital and that i had given birth already, because i couldn't believe what had just happened between waking up that Saturday morning and that afternoon. 

We stayed in hospital for a month............ I look at him now, i honestly i cannot forget where we come from, sometimes tears fill my eyes. Yes i look at him, the way he is so naughty, the way i am already considering taking him to creche because at the rate he is going, i swear my helper is going to run away from me. The point i am making is, God never fails. I have seen Him at work, i see Him at work. Whenever i look at Zawadi Amukelwe Jackson Motsa, i know God is at work.

Pre Race Anxiety

I hate the week before race, honestly, i almost can't recognize myself during that week. U can't really train as  hard as u normally do, or rather sometimes u shdn't even train at all, if u do, u do it minimally, so u wake up and just feel useless. On top of that u just crave for everything under the sun, the junk, the food, the sweet drinks, everything u are NOT supposed to take. And then suddenly u feel sick, sometimes u feel like u r coming down with a flu, sometimes a fever, you just can never put your finger on it. Then the injuries. Suddenly every niggle u've ever felt, feels like its real, suddenly u even feel like u r limping and hurting and not sure whether it is real or just in your head, yes sometimes even the back starts hurting, something u have never experienced before. Add on to the that the negativity around u, people going to the same race as u, also worried about the same things, worried about whether they'll make it, or whether they are well enough to take on the race, and that just throws you off completely. Ah yes, the week before a race, i can never get used to that anxiety. But as usual, i'm always joyous, smiling, as if "I know what i'm doing", as if i'm saying "I've got this", yet deep down, i am burning in anxiety, in deep worry, i even wonder sometimes "how do i get myself into such predicaments?".............. Right now i am supposed to do this thing they call hydrating, i hate drinking water, in this case i have to drink only water and not my normal fizzy drinks. It tastes like feet, i hate it, but yes if experts say hydrate, who am i to say no..... Then they also say you must carbo- load.... I don't mind carbo-loading, if what they mean by that is that i shd eat anything i want...... Ahhhhhhhhh i hate pre race week

The hand of God at work... Blessings!!!

Its been a while... I guess i've been too busy doing damage control in this thing called life. Yet somehow i've come out of it stronger and highly motivated, I have seen the hand of God at work, i have witnessed His grace, I have pulled through... Had a rough phase between the months of September to December. Those I was in contact with got to hear of it, and kept motivating me to press on, be patient as they would say. I wasn't willing to spend any more time feeling sorry for myself, walking out seemed a better option, especially when you spend your day in an environment which constantly pulls you down and leaves no room for you to breath and appreciate the goodness of life. It became a battle of surviving a day, then a week, then a month........ This isn't what one spent their lifetime dreaming that their adult life would be like.... 2015 came with new hope, and great beginnings. Through this experience I have learnt that God exists, and He will never leave nor forsake me. I have learnt to appreciate the smaller things in life, I have learnt that you don't know what you've got until its gone, I have learnt that when a situation is bad, it CAN actually get a whole lot worse, and Dear God it got worse, worse than i could have ever imagined. I'm thankful for the family around me, my very special friends, every one who from time to time just offered their ear to my endless stories & cursing. I'm thankful for my hobby, running, at some point it became one of the only fulfilling things in the hours between 0400hrs to 1700hrs. God has been good to me, I can never thank Him enough. 

No weapon formed against me shall prosper

His will never lead me where His grace cannot keep me

He will never leave nor forsake me

The Lord is my Shepherd