My First Comrades Experience- Comrades 2012

WHERE IT ALL STARTED- OCTOBER 2011

It all started in October 2011 when Sandra Groening registered me to take part in this event.. & that was the beginning of a 7 months of grueling training for this 89.28km race. Characterized by taking part in the Soweto Marathon, Pnp marathon, Vaal Marathon, The Long Tom Marathon & long run training ended with a long run from Oshoek to Manzini on the 1st of May 2012. After that it was just shorter distances to relax our muscles in readiness for the COMRADES.

EMOTIONS

I was scared, anxious, excited, horrified but tried to keep positive. I'm not sure i slept on that night before the race, it just felt like i was half awake for most of the night. In the morning we went to the starting point, i was all by myself amongst other 18000 people. 

AT THE START

Then the national anthem was played, followed by the shosholoza song followed by the Chariots of fire...This was the scariest moment & the longest moment spent being terrified with people next to me who were clearly novices too, shedding a tear or two, while i tried to keep calm.Apparently those songs r always played in that order every year at the comrades start. Then the gun went off & i had 11hrs 47minutes & 34seconds of what will remain the greatest memory in my running times..I will forever cherish this, the pains, the aches, the injuries, the tears.

THE INJURY

At around the 70km mark, i suffered an injury on my right knee & was in tears, stopped for a short massage & kept going & had to kip reminding myself that there shall be no stopping until the finish line. The pain spread to my thigh & lower part of the leg, i decided to join the 12hr bus & told myself i'm not letting go of that bus until the end..a stranger approached me, asked me, "r u ok?" as he saw me limping & i said yep i'm fine, just the knew, & he gave me painkillers, i drank 2 of them, i'm not even sure they worked coz the pain just kept pounding. 

THE HIGHLIGHT

The highlight of this race was just 2kms before reaching the finishing point, as we entered the stadium, the group decided we sing the Shosholoza song, we sang, we smiled, we waved, we did the victory dance & waved, while our bus leader one Thulani Zwane led us into the stadium...that guy made dreams of many novices from all around the world come true....a stranger to us all in true comradeship spirit....At that point my husband had no idea where i was as they failed to trace me on the road, they even searched the ambulances just to find out if i got injured but didn't find me. So he decided to wait for me at the stadium while crossing his fingers to the 12hr cutoff....When we ran to the finish, u wdn't have been able to tell that i was injured, i was close to tears, i was completely finished inside.......

This is my experience of my first Comrades Marathon..During the race i cursed & cursed & cursed & vowed to never do this again & as i experience the pains & aches right now i smile & wonder if indeed i will never do this again.......

To SANDRA GROENING who is  my friend, sister mother, mentor, coach,everything, u're too special to me my friend. To have put up with me & got me to successfully run the Comrades, i will forever dedicate this achievement to you. 

To my team, VVO & Mark, i love you guys...

To the Golden Foot Club, it all started with you guys...

To my HUSBAND....No words can describe how thankful i am to God for blessing me with a husband as supportive as you.....I LOVE YOU TOO MUCH....*tears*

To the non runners & all those who do not understand what the fuss is all about....ur discouraging words, ur constant nagging and ridicule, that's what instilled the stubbornness in me. U will never know the joys of running especially in a team unless u try it...

& This marks the end of my running season for 2012.

Know your friends..................

So this particular post is a summary of many many status updates I made on this day in 2013 on FB, I'm not sure what brought it on, but I thought maybe I should just put all of what I said on that day together into one long blogpost, so here goes.

FACT: Part of growing up is realizing that not everyone that claims to be your friend will wish you well. Most will watch and hope you fail.....yep n while you are aware of that fact you will still call them your friends *smile*. Some friends you will relate to only due to habits...I would therefore never then expect these friends to be supportive to the extent of me telling them my challenges. #KnowYourFriends

Then there are some Friends to whom "the glass is always half empty"....they'll never give you a compliment or be happy when you have good news to share, e.g you will say, I got a new job in Matsapha, n he will say, but Matsapha is far from Mbabane...yes burst my bubble.

Some friends will believe everything you write on FB...I feel sorry for those friends......I think those are not friends, those are groupies.....then there are those who will like you more than you like them...call it difference in personalities or chemistry mismatch.....this is just a pitiful situation coz how do you force yourself to like a person beyond just merely appreciating their existence !!!!!

Some friends won't understand or will ridicule your hobbies or lack thereof..... ask questions like, why do you run?, you mean you don't go clubbing?, How do you pass your time then?.... Seriously why should I even give you a time of day???? Then you have colleagues...you should always distinguish btn colleagues & friends, & I think the perfect description of colleagues is "people you have to mingle with on a regular basis out of no choice of your own", do not mistake these for friends. You maintain a Civil professional relationship and that's it

Then there are those friends you will lose coz of the choice in spouse that you made, or better yet, you got married & worse were in love....Some people who claim to be your friends won't appreciate that, so you will definitely lose them in the process. Some friends (normally of the opposite sex) stop talking to you coz you got married.....now those are just childish...there is a difference between being respectful & just childish, coz most of the time these friends expect you to ask the question *what's wrong? Why are you different towards me?*, seriously??????????

For me one definition of a friend is "someone I can afford to not communicate with sometimes for a period longer than a year, not because we had a fall out or any bad blood, but because it just happened, but after that year I can still send you an sms & say "hi I'm in town", or I'm by the reception at your office, or say whatever I want to say, without that person giving me a response that goes "hawu, where have you been all this time""....Dude we have lives, you ought to accept that, well a friend ought to accept that. Friendship should be effortless, friends who are always complaining to you, (awusangishayeli ngani, awusangicoceli kutsi (why don't you call me anymore)....... ) you forget we are not 15yrs old anymo, we have lives, you c a boyfriend/spouse can nag, not sure how far boyfriends' rights go, but when a friend starts having boyfriend tendencies it becomes EFFORTFUL (is there such a word?), a big no no no #KnowYourFriends

A friend will not complain about a friend who makes too many posts on FB coz one, you have the "unfriend" or "unfollow" option, then you have the "hide posts" option too, and then you even have the "block" option...All of which you are allowed to use without me knowing that you have enabled them...Now it is not my fault that you don't know how to use FB & as such can't use these options while at the same time, my profile, my rules.......yes I do use those options by the way.

"You didn't tell me you were getting married" is one of the questions some friends ask...my question becomes....is one to release a memo to everyone when they're getting married???? Some say this as a joke, but some actually take it personal that that memo wasn't sent out to them, like dude, of all the things I had to worry about in preparation for my wedding, you expected to be a priority too?????

Then there are those friends who just truly care for you and you them. They understand you, your lifestyle, your hobbies, your shortcomings, your reactions, your background.....They are a true blessing from God and I'm blessed to have friends that do fall under this category. They make life a breeze.....you can always rely on them for anything. Their maturity, their gentleness in addressing you is priceless. God bless these wonderful people ‪#KnowYourFriends

Stick to your LANE

So I had a revelation, well an epiphany if u will. Ok fine it was just a thought which I thought I could term with a fancy word. Anywho, back to my epiphany, ever noticed how some people sometimes demand more attention than they actually deserve from u, how some think they deserve ur time of day when really u don't even know where they come from. Ever noticed how some people suddenly want to feel important in ur life. Ever noticed how some people mistake ur friendship closeness & suddenly assume they're high up in ur hierarchy of friendship list & hence assume they r entitled to certain privileges which u probably would only afford ur truly closer friends and/or family????

Ever noticed how some people in ur circles want their opinion about u to matter in ur everyday dealings even when u don't recognize the existence of their voice or even the existence of their mere existence. 

You see I'm the type of person who avoids confrontation at all costs, I dislike confrontation, I dislike noise, I dislike having my time wasted discussing rot with someone I feel I wdn't want to give my time of day to, my best response to something that wd in my view result in confrontation is normally silence. I always feel if u know me well enough, u shd know that my silence to ur snide comment or behaviour shd tell u that sth is not right if I wd've otherwise responded, & when I really dislike what u say, for instance in my social media space, I will simply delete ur comment/response & maintain my silence, that is just me, & it suits me just fine. Oh & if u irritate me in my whatsapp space, I simply block u, I won't even tell u that u're irritating me, I will just block u, same goes for facebook, I repeat, I don't like unnecessary bickering. 

Bottom line what I'm trying to say is, Dude, please stay in ur LANE, don't go overstepping boundaries, don't misinterpret our knowing each other or ocassionally saying hello to one another as a friendship. If we r NOT close friends, feel free not to impose ur opinions or thoughts on my otherwise happy life. Feel free not to share ur negativity on me, feel free not to share ur unfunny jokes with me, they may sound funny to ur closer friends, that is fine, they are ur friends, I am NOT, so don't share the joke with me. Let's maintain our boundaries. In siSwati there is a phrase used for this kind of behaviour "KUJWAYELANA KABI", let's refrain from doing that. 

Photography & I

So on Sunday at the Comrades Marathon I spent my afternoon taking photos of Swazi runners just outside the International runners' tent at the Sahara Kingsmead Stadium, I had my camera battery fully charged, the memory card empty so I could knock myself out taking photos. It is no secret that I love taking photos, photos of people especially and not necessarily surroundings & add to that people that I know & not just random strangers unless it is a local running event. My motivation to take photos comes from the importance I place on freezing or preserving memories, there are those moments in our lives which we canNOT recover/repeat/replay, & if we could preserve them somehow or freeze them, they remain visible not only in our hearts, but on paper too. That is just my theory. 

I have this gadget, which I am sure can do a whole lot more than I use it for but for now I'm happy to just be able to click away while I try to think of finding time to learn more on the fascinating features that it can actually offer to enhance the photos I take. I respect photographers, I mean those who take those awesome professional looking pictures, pictures I could also probably capture if only I knew how to use this gadget I possess, fully, but for now, I am just content with being able to take high quality pictures, and freeze those special moments. 

I often face challenges in my quest to pursue this love for photography, firstly the subject matters r almost always reluctant to pose for the photos, it sometimes feels as if it is a waste of time for them, but the aha moment often surfaces a few hours later when u receive a message from subject matters requesting you to send the photo u took of them, to them. It almost always does not bother me when subject matter is reluctant, maybe because I've faced so many situations where I wished someone would have captured that moment of me, but noone did, & that is always another challenge faced by a person who likes taking photos, she/he almost always does NOT have someone who will take a photo of her/him when it is her/his moment. 

This is why I appreciate the job done by "Jetline Action photo" so much, this is a SA company (I think) which covers most sports events in SA then sells the photos online, they take thousands and thousands of photos per sporting event then sell online. The photos are often quite pricey for the average person, but the truth of the matter is, the moments they capture are simply priceless, & it is for this reason that I always purchase their photos, besides the fact that the quality is awesome, the moments they capture are simply precious. 

Back in 2014 at the comrades finish I didn't take a proper photo with medal at the end of the race, & thereafter I had to rush to go nurse my then 9 months old baby & hence didn't find time to take a photo of me & my hard earned medal & as a result I don't actually have a proper photo of myself that year after the finish. Another reason why I find it important to have such a moment captured coz much as that moment is still in my heart I do wish to have it on paper, I suppose I was too emotional after that race that I even forgot to just go to the Jetline photo guys & have a photo of myself taken. 

Anyway, so my love for photography comes from trying to preserve those precious moments, those moments which u only realize once they've passed that u actually forgot to freeze them, those moments which u only appreciate once u see on paper. Granted I try to make my subject matters do crazy things, but sometimes I always think it is important to allow ur subject matter to loosen up & not be so uptight so u can get that proper shot of that moment, & that moment can't only be captured by a single click of that camera, sometimes 4- 5 shots just so u can get that one perfect picture. Yea I know I'm crazy but on Sunday it got confirmed to me how important it is to have such moments frozen. I took about 350 photos in the 3 hours I spent at the stadium, photos of the Swazi runners I came across outside the international runners' tent, some I knew some I didn't, but I could tell from the kits they had on that they were Swazis and I would just ask them to pose & show me their medal or give me a peace sign etc, I'm sure some of them thought I was crazy, well until they received the photos of course. 

Of course with the love for taking photos comes the responsibility or the task of ensuring these precious memories get shared with the subject matters who are normally very anxious to receive what they now believe should be in their possession. This takes me back to a race I covered in February where I captured close to 900 images at a local race, of course most of the images were of people I did not know, but the beauty of photography is that most people who see you taking the photos notice you and sometimes know you yet you don't know them. Life has been made easier by social networks because it makes sharing much easier, with the limitation being that in some cases the people u take images of, r not on social networks. 

I always feel like it is only courteous to share the photos you've taken at an event whether you decide to sell the images to the people concerned or just share freely but really, what is the point of capturing an image of someone if you won't share it with them????? Anyway, sharing is caring, sometimes it can be stressful, esp coz u have to either use data bundles or if u're lucky, u can access wifi, I returned on Monday from Durban, I was so anxious to share these photos coz I knew if I didn't share by evening on Monday I would be receiving more messages requesting for the share, I had no laptop on me, all these were left at work and I would only be back at work 2 days later, yep I went all round town looking for a place where I could slot in my memory card & transfer the photos to my phone so that I can then share the photos from my phone. Sounds easy right, well it wasn't as easy, first place I tried the card couldn't read, so I went to a net cafe, they said they don't use memory cards, then I remembered a friend who works in Manzini, went to her requested to use her PC, slotted the memory card, copy & pasted the 355 photos onto my phone, processed took +15minutes with interruptions here & there but by 5pm that evening I was sorted, photos were on me and I could go home & start sharing. Sharing I did. These were very beautiful photos if I could say so myself, not beautiful as in professional, but they captured the essence of the moment, the vibe at the stadium, I always think it is not the same as taking a photo of u & ur medal in the car or at home, the stadium has a whole different vibe to it. Actually if I could, I wd've taken shots at the finish line, but it was barricaded so couldn't access that point of the stadium. 

That said, I love taking photos, clearly this is a hobby that shall continue for more days to come, so excuse me if u see me taking photos randomly, do rest assured that I will eventually share those images & if u happen to capture images of other people, do try to share with them without them having to request, it is only courteous. Because Sharing is caring. Hi I'm Kwesi, I love taking pictures. Those who know me well, have learnt to accept this about me and just play along.

Living far from family, the reality of it, Life choices

Not many people have to deal with this reality but some of us have always had to do it. I live in Swaziland, my parents live in Lesotho, my father's family in Tanzania, my mother's family in Malaysia. So whichever way you decide to turn the coin, there is family that we are living far away from. This kind of setup makes any goodbye scenario very difficult at any given point in time because that may very well be the last time you see that loved one and if it is not the last, they'll be lucky if they see you within the next 3 years. The goodbyes in Malaysia are always the hardest coz it normally takes years to go back there. I've been to Malaysia 5 times if i recall correctly, in 1996, 1999, 2003, 2012, 2014, actually make that 6 times, if we can count the time while i was still a baby back in 1982. Now imagine the gap between 1982 - 1996, when we went to Malaysia in 1996 for the first time, they had last seen me as a baby, suddenly my mom comes with 2 more kids & they naturally thought my youngest sister was me. My mom had lived away from home for 14 years before she went for her first visit. 

On the other hand, we've been able to visit Tanzania more frequently, not enough but at least more frequently than Malaysia, of course because it is closer hence not as costly as going to Malaysia. Living away from family means that if you will one day receive a late night call and see the foreign number from either countries, u know something has gone wrong, actually not wrong, there is just death involved. So u're always praying not to receive such calls. Thankfully we now have social media, and one won't understand the value of these unless they have lived far from family, have schooled or worked somewhere other than the place of residence, or have traveled a bit and the only way to link with those in the other circles is through social networks. I chat frequently with my parents on fb, whatsapp etc, my youngest sister saw my baby for the first time through skype, she couldn't travel to come and see us until about 3 months later. 

My parents now live in Lesotho which is some 650kms away from where i live, so that is some good 7hours drive. I suppose they're still closer than if they were say in Tanzania where one would require a flight ticket. The reality is, when you are me, you don't get to say things like "i'll pass by my parents' house on my way from work just to say hi", there is no parents house, well not anywhere close, To get to parents' house, clear logistics have to be arranged. You don't get to go home for time out, for that home cooked meal, for that quick chat with mummy or daddy. Ok this was supposed to be sharing of experience but suddenly its turning into a sad affair. Mmmmmmmhhhh. 

When i had my babies i had no mummy around to do the normal motherly things (God knows what those are), just as when she gave birth to all her kids, she had no mother around to see her through. I suppose naturally you learn to be strong and survive within the circle you live in. My parents have learnt to live through the news of death of loved ones. You can't always be able to attend all the funerals either due to financial constraints or work issues (getting days off). Even if you can, you probably won't make it before burial. Even if you have the means, sometimes circumstances will not permit you to go, you then have to weigh the cost of going against the time you will be able to spend there. My mother couldn't bury my grandmother (her mother) when she died, because she died around exam time at her workplace (my mom's a lecturer), she had to finalize marking the exams and submitting results then supplementary exams as well, if she had forced her way and travelled to attend the burial, she wd've had to probably return within a week. She only managed to go home a few weeks later and spent a month. Truth of the matter is, this is a very dull consequence of our very own life choices. We chose to live far from our parents, well, when we were making the choices we didn't think this wd be the consequence. You think u're falling in love, living the dream only to find you've settled yourself in foreign land, a land far away from home. Life choices for you.

The holidays are coming up, those are normally the painful reminder once again of the life choices one made. My parents naturally will always travel to Tanzania or Malaysia for the holidays, i've travelled there too a couple of times, but not always, at least being able to travel to either Tanzania or Malaysia for Xmas has granted me that luxury of spending Xmas & New years with my parents. The years i've been unable to travel, like this year, well, that means i won't be with them, neither will i be with my sisters. 

Living far from my parents and sisters has taught me to appreciate every second i have with them, appreciate their presence, make every moment count, make special memories, share special holidays, acquire wisdom from them, take lots of photos, anything to make the memories sweeter. Next time you complain about how far your home is, referring to a place that is probably 30kms from where you stay, note that some of us do not have the luxury of having our parental homes so close to us. Our support system is made up of the loved ones we live with & the few reliable friends we have. By God's grace........... Be grateful...................